Lately I’ve been hearing the saying, “There’s no such thing as bad weather.” in regard to kids playing outside. But what about rain? We can’t possibly think it’s ok for kids to play in the rain, can we? Just in case you’re considering this nonsense, here are my top 3 reasons why children should never, ever play in the rain.
They Will Get Wet
If kids go out to play in the rain, they’ll get all wet. How will we get them dry? I only have approximately 87 raggedy towels crammed into a linen closet. Is that enough? Do they make body sized ShamWows? Perhaps I could use the hairdryer.
And do we truly know it’s ok to get wet? Just look at what happened to the Wicked Witch of the West. Do we want our children turning into a gelatinous pile of mush after coming in contact with rain? Children screaming in the streets, “I’m melting!!!”. It sounds like the plot for a Hitchcock film; what a nightmare!
Their Clothes Will Get Dirty
If kids go out to play in the rain, their clothes will get all dirty. How will we get them clean? It’s not like there is an easy way to wash clothing. I don’t know about you, but I’m still waiting on my personal Rosie like the Jetsons had. Will I have to get an extra washtub? I had turned my extra into a washtub bass to join my local Jug Band. Must I patch it to keep up with all the wet, filthy clothing?
They Will Get Sick if they play in the rain
If kids go out to play in the rain, they could get sick. How will we protect them from the viruses and bacteria that fall from the sky? Obviously, as a responsible adult, every time I go out in the rain, I carry an umbrella with me to protect me from all that. Why would we allow children to be exposed to that contaminated precipitation? Every time I take a shower, I come down with a cold—that’s why I’ve been limiting mine to once a year. I just couldn’t handle the chance of catching a cold every day anymore.
So please, always keep your kids inside out of the rain, and don’t even get me started on playing in the mud or running about barefoot outdoors. The madness!